Burn Out is a B*tch
“Always remember that the future comes one day at a time.” - Dean Acheson
Look at me! It's a Sunday and here I am writing a blog!
- and I've already done my chores!
- and I've eaten breakfast!
- and I've done some solid marketing work!
- and I've planned out my month of content!
What could possibly go wrong?!
A lot. A lot could probably go wrong.
This is what happens. I have a day like this where I feel really great and I'm checking my boxes and feeling very motivated and secure with my plans. It's moments like these that I cherish because I know things could get messed up in just a moment.
- Will something unexpected come up that I have to deal with?
- Will editing this video take much longer than I expected?
- Is that pain in my head? Am I getting another migraine today?
- Will my energy wear out and I'll feel burnt out again?
I struggle a lot with burn out. My ambitions are plastered all over the internet but when I create this schedule and this meticulous plan to get everything done, eventually I falter and end up spending hours playing Zelda or eating myself to an even MORE unhealthy state.
I recently asked Caitlin Doughty ("Ask A Mortician" on YouTube) how she combats burn out with all of her many tasks and commitments to herself, her business and her audience. Doughty's answer was "You come first". She then stressed to me the importance of taking care of yourself and keeping yourself healthy and happy before everyone else. It is an answer I've heard many times and don't quite take to heart like I should... but...
How? Why? When? What does that actually mean? Should I take a break whenever I feel like it? Do I put everything aside in order to exercise and eat healthy even when I have a laundry list of tasks I HAVE to complete? I've never run out of ideas but I've CERTAINLY lost motivation to pursue my plethora of goals. How does that get fixed?
This isn't to say I've never worked through a lack of motivation. I realize that you can't always wait for that bolt of lightening to hit you when you're "inspired" to create something. How else did I push myself to complete my music compositions in school? I'm talking about when I literally lose the will to work for something that I internally KNOW that I want more than anything.
I'm constantly comparing myself to myself. I look at my progress in recent years and my motivation and think "why can't I be like I was before such-and-such happened?!" or "how do I tap back into that state of being during that video?" Then I look at how far I've come and realize that it's all pretty pathetic. Sure, I've learned some great lessons and accomplished a few things but I'm nowhere near where I want to be right now. How do I make THAT happen? And will that success be the answer to my battle with burn out?
This is getting very personal again and I feel like this blog is only written when I feel like b*tching about something I'm feeling or just word vomiting everywhere. Maybe that's ok if it means I'm actually writing something? I don't know for sure but I know that if I do this, I get another check on my To-Do list and I get to tackle the next task.
Maybe that's what will bring the success I want: task by task and day by day I will reach the future. It's literally what that quote states at the beginning of this post! I was surprised to see that as I opened my browser today and maybe it's the universe giving me that little positive nudge I need to just keep working and that my eyes just need to stay open. Maybe...
Only one way to find out!
Just keep hustling, just keep hustling, that's what we do we work... work... work...