It's been a tough week, I'm not going to lie. It started off with 4 hours of stand still traffic up in Northern Washington on my way back from a film shoot with some mighty heat exhaustion. Since then, it feels like I've been dragging myself through the week (apart from a wonderful 3 year anniversary on July 20th with my man) and my negativity has cost me dearly. I go through moments of feeling stretched in every direction; trapped in a situation where I have no choice but to "suffer through it."
How did this happen?
Just one month ago I was feeling on top of the world: new job, new house, new diet, new direction, plenty of opportunity... I'm clearly BURNT OUT. What's worse, I take it out on those I love, which is not a method of relieving stress I advise. Not only was the stress of work and life weighing down on me, but I started adding guilt to it.
Finally, today happened.
One little day off that started with some chocolate and a good cup of coffee (my cure to everything). I was able to pick up some pieces, get some bills paid, make some goals, and take out all that anxiety and stress in the gym.
And today it clicked.
I'm currently a member at OTF Capitol Hill, the gym that I can easily say changed my life. I worked there for almost a year and when I changed jobs, I got a membership for 2x a week. My trainers/friends know I've got a wedding coming and they know they can push me. I'm lifting heavier weights and running faster miles than ever before, but I still kinda hated it!
Then suddenly today during our last "All Out" (push yourself as hard and as fast as you can go for 60 seconds!) all I could help feeling was "I'm Alive!!!". Silly right? I don't know, something about all that sweat and heat and how much everything ached and how fast I was going made me feel so incredibly LUCKY to be alive and powerful!
With my 23rd birthday coming up this weekend, I'm finally feeling reflective (normally happens a few weeks prior) and I can't help but feel SO empowered. Not only that, but I want to share that strength with everyone I know! I've gone from wanting to end it all to being at the top of my own world. Even though I'm not the fastest or strongest or smartest in the room, I'm the best I have ever been and I'm only getting better.
I am the predator. Come at me world!